We have spent so much time this year waiting. Waiting for answers, waiting for lockdowns to end, waiting for news, waiting for things to go back to the way they were.

For as much practice as we’ve had, I wonder if we’ve gotten any better at it. I’ve had moments of grace for sure, but I’m still struggling with the visit to a friend I missed in April. I’m sad for a friend who pushed back her wedding day. I’m bummed our son’s baptism was followed by such a small celebration. I still find myself wishing this time away until something I deem better comes along.

The thing that’s helping the most is practicing gratitude. It’s pausing for a half second between the simultaneous needs of various kids to look up and say thank you for this life to the Lord who loves me more than anything and who is always looking out for me. It’s saying thank you when the baby fusses again minutes after I thought I got him down and my back is aching. It’s offering a prayer of gratitude for the rolled eyes and sassiness I’m charged with forming into gracious and mature adults.

Reading mom and parenting sites, I see a lot of wishing for what was, a lot of wanting to go back in time and hold on. I understand that, but I don’t want to get stuck in that mentality. So as weird as the present time is, that means I need to strive to be joyful in the moment, grateful for what’s right in front of me. 

I can look forward to when the house is neater (maybe?), when I have more time to write (again, maybe?), but I need to not live today like that. I don’t want to get there and miss this. 

If I recognize every moment that I am in the palm of God’s hand, then I know that where I’m supposed to be isn’t yesterday, nor is it ten years from now. God put me here, now, today, because He needs me here, now, today. Even when it’s hard. Even when it’s mundane. Even when it feels like too much. If I really trust in Him as much as I say I do, then I can be joyful in waiting for what He wants for me.

The Litany of Trust has a few lines that help me: 

From anxiety about the future

Deliver me, Jesus.

From resentment or excessive preoccupation with the past

Deliver me, Jesus.

From restless self-seeking in the present moment

Deliver me, Jesus.

Here’s what I want my kids to know, what I need to teach them by example: the only other place I’m looking forward to being is in Heaven, with my Lord, for all eternity. When I live today with intention, I have joyful hope that someday, that’s where I’ll be.

This post is part of a blog hop by Spoken Women, an online community of Catholic women nurturing their creative callings. Click here to view the next post in this series “Joyful Waiting” *