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It’s amazing the things people will say to pregnant ladies. I was reminiscing and discussing this with a currently-pregnant friend, and the conversation just screamed “blog post!”
I don’t know if it’s a sort of brazenness that comes with city living, or if the hormones that accompany a baby bump call out to strangers and compel them to ask questions and offer their insights. Either way, the responses I’ve heard, both in my own experiences and from those of my friends, are hilarious. . . . in retrospect.
“How much do you weigh?” (How much do you weigh?)
“Are you carrying twins?” (Answer: no, but thanks for the thought that my baby might weigh sixteen pounds at birth.)
“Definitely a boy in there; I can tell from the way you’re carrying.” (The ultrasound and delivery both proved this one was a girl.)
“Wow. You look like you’re about to pop! When are you due?” (Answer: Two months from now. And no, I can’t imagine how I could get any bigger, either.)
“Normally a pregnant woman’s face gets all fat and puffy and gross. But yours really isn’t that bad.” (Thank you?)
Now we all know, in theory if not in practice, never to ask a woman if she’s expecting. Those with more experience in the matter know that it’s also never okay to guess when a baby is due. The boy and girl convictions are relatively harmless, and most moms I’ve spoken with take them with a grain of salt.
So what do you say to a woman you notice is clearly, clearly with child? (Please note the emphasis there.) Or even better, a woman whose pregnancy has been confirmed by a family member or mutual friend?
In an effort to stop some of these ridiculous conversations throughout the city—and hopefully across the country—I’d like to offer some of the kinder, more considerate responses my friends and I received when we were pregnant:
“You can’t tell from behind at all!” (Good news, but sometimes this means no one offers you a seat on the subway.)
“It’s all in your belly.” (For a time, these were my five favorite words.)
“You’re carrying beautifully.” (A friend’s experience, and one I hope is mine someday!)
And of course, the old classic, “Congratulations!”
While the former comments can be good for a laugh among mamas later, they can also get frustrating. Please, friends, be kind to pregnant ladies.
P.S. No, this post does not mean I am pregnant.
Not too long ago, my patient (none too slim herself, might I add) said
“Oh, I see you have a little belly there…when are you due??”
Needless to say, I’ve upped my workouts since then. Sigghhh…
If it’s not OBVIOUS, don’t ask!
hands down, the worst thing I heard through my whole pregnancy was this:
Lady from work that I’ve never spoken to before,”How far along are you?”
Me: “Um, 4 months”
Lady from work that I’ve never spoken to before, “Oh my god. You’re going to be waddling like a duck soon.”
As in, oh my god you’re so big already you’re going to be waddling like a duck soon. For the record, I never waddled =) AND I told her I was 4 months when I was really about 5 1/2 months…I never could keep the months straight. But, it doesn’t matter. I declared her an enemy from that moment on =)
Oh, that’s such a bummer. Where are the filters sometimes? But at the end of the day, you have a happy, beautiful little girl and a good story to tell, so you win!
[…] posted about this before, citing some cringe-worthy examples of things friends of mine have heard. These ladies all had perfectly normal pregnancies and baby […]